Planning a Funeral

Most of us are not prepared to plan and carry out a funeral ceremony for someone we love. And so much of the information available on this critically important subject fails to focus on what is most important: having a personalized, meaningful funeral that helps families and friends begin the healing process of mourning after the death of someone we love.

This section includes information that will help provide insights necessary to help you and your family create a meaningful funeral experience that both honors the life of your loved one and starts you on the path to healing from your loss. Some of the content on these pages is adapted from a website called www.MeaningfulFunerals.com and the teachings of Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a noted grief expert.

Dr. Alan Wolfelt

Listen to Dr. Alan Wolfelt describe why it's important to have a funeral.

Why it's important to have a funeral.

To learn more about Dr. Wolfelt, please visit www.centerforloss.com

Our funeral home's dedicated staff wants to help you and can play a critical role in planning and carrying out a meaningful funeral or memorial service. Our licensed funeral directors are intimately familiar with the funeral planning process, key decisions a grieving family must make, and necessary legal documentation that is required during this difficult time. Our funeral professionals can handle all of the details and help you create a unique service that fits your needs and values.

For more information, please select from the links below:

Meaningful Funerals
Meaningful Choices
Guides and Resources

Download Planning Guide
Print and share this planning guide with family, friends and your funeral director as you finalize your plans

What does the funeral home need to know?

Each funeral is personal, and may be for a time of:

Reflection - Where ones life story is told and given to the participants in memorandem.

Mourning - Where ones life has been unexpectedly ended and those left behind are asking the hard questions.

Celebration - Where ones life has been lived well, and other are anticipated to share the joy in life's transition to tomorrow.

Planning your funeral may be like one of these or one which you decide the tone of the service simply by deciding, for instance, who will conduct your service?

The nature of how people will remember you will depend on how much you share with them now. If you discuss these plans with your spouse, friends or family, they will certainly do all they can to honor your request.

All funerals are different, and your choices matter to those who would attend, once you have passed away.

So, what information does the funeral home need?  Start with The Type of service you would like. There are many ways to do this.

  • Traditional - A processional with the family to the service at a church or funeral home chapel, then after the service you proceed to the cemetery for the committal service, including military honors, burial rites of fraternities or groups (if applicable.)
  • Graveside - A processional with the family to the service at the cemetery where the family will receive the message and the committal all under the funeral home tent by the graveside.
  • Memorial Service - A Service with only the Urned Cremains with processional to the service at the funeral home or church and the choice of your cremains being buried or remaining with the family, or scattered.
  • No Service - Which may include immediate burial or cremation and the interment of such cremations be of your request.

You may choose to do any of the above, and vary the type of request accordingly. You may meet at the funeral without an escort, You may also choose after a service to go to the cemetery without an escort.

The purpose of the escort is to safely transfer mutiple vehicles from the family meeting place or place of service to the next destination.

The next step is to decide who will conduct your service, and whom you would like to do specific musical selections. ie: if you prefer particular hymns, or other popular culture specific performances.

Multiple ministers will prolong the service, as will mutiple musical selections. (Three ministers and five songs will easily make the service last well over an hour.)

Poems, letters, and personal comments are always welcome by family and friends. These are all open to interpretation.

Protestant services are somewhat different than Catholic, Jewish, or Islamic type services. The Priest may hold more direction over what events occur at your service. Be sure to consult your Priest, or Pastor, or Cleric when considering your Order of Service. There are some variances among the Protestant Liturgical practices of churches as well.

Liturgical services include the giving of the eucharist or Mass. There are some exclusions for the use of the Pall over flowers in some churches as well. If flowers are discouraged, consider an "In lieu of Flowers" designation in the obituary, to a church or charity, or other entity.